IGCSE Mock Exams Reflection
Finally, after two weeks of tumultuous emotions, restless weekends and way too much ranting to my parents, I have finished what some may argue to be more intense than the IGCSE Exams themselves: the Mock exams. Behind these two weeks were another three weeks of intensive revision, which was on top of having to keep up with my schoolwork. I hope to use this opportunity to reflect on what I have done well in preparation, what I could have done much better and in turn come up with future action plans to not only give myself closure, but hopefully offer advice to any of you who may be taking the IGCSEs in the future. To break this down clearly, I will be reflecting in the format of sharing what has gone well for me and what is to be improved in the future (a structure my school loves to use).
Context
To begin, I think it’d be best to explain the structure of my mock exams and explain some of my exam results in order for you all to assess the success of the return on the investment given the work that I have put in. As I mentioned previously, my school carries out all the mock exams within a 2-week period, with each pupil being assigned to a study desk where they will stay at when their exams are not taking place. Therefore, for two weeks, that specific study room felt like my second home as I had quite literally spent more time there studying than at my actual home sleeping. We had been following a timetable, and you are expected to head towards the examination hall ten minutes before the exam of whichever subject you may take begins. This was the case for the entirety of my first two weeks back to school from the Christmas holiday.
The subjects I currently take are: English Lang & Lit, Maths, Further Pure Maths, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, PE, Spanish, Religious Studies, and History. As you can see from the “Time Insights” function from my Google Calendar, I had spent a significant amount of time on not only organizing my schedule, but also ensuring that I dedicate enough time for each subject as there are often more than one paper for each subject. A typical day of my Christmas holiday consisted of revision, starting at ~8:00am and ending at ~11pm. Of course, I have small breaks in-between like my lunch and dinner time with my family, as well as sports trainings to keep up with my practical sports as a part of my PE GCSE course.
In the end, I was able to receive all Grade 9s in my mock exam results, however a question I want to impose is, was the 100+ hours of revision worth it? Not necessarily, and I will be expanding more on this.
What Went Well?
To state the obvious, I am mostly satisfied with my exam results and being able to achieve all 9s, although with some disappointments which I will discuss in a bit. However, something I am glad to have met my expectation was that there weren’t any particular knowledge gaps that were exposed through my exams. I was able to recall conceptual facts very clearly 90% of the time, which is clearly something you would expect after committing so many hours into revision.
If you are a current IGCSE student who is currently struggling to recall factual knowledge from textbooks even when exam technique is removed, please stay tuned as I will writing another blog on some of my techniques to help me remember concepts in the sciences, religious teachings and quotes, as well as history statistics. Something I learned and felt reassuring about was that if you are able to recall facts well in all subjects, you are essentially set on at least a grade 8 as exam papers will never test you on something you haven’t learned! You just have to know your definitions, your key terms and make sure you convey your understanding clearly onto the paper. If you are a current junior who is not in Year 11, or has just started as a Year 11, just remember this: Consistently review and consolidate your knowledge! There are 10+ topics for each of the IGCSE Sciences and way too many history statistics and events for you to remember the night before your exams.
What Went Wrong?
Oh, dear. Here comes the juicy part. I have never talked about this with anyone except my parents, but I was mentally and physically in ruins before and during the exam period. My mental state had hit a new low that it had never even come close to in my entire life due to the extreme pressure that I had put on myself. For all 15 years of my life, I have never felt pressure to compete to win from my parents, however, as I grew up and began achieving academic success on my own, I started holding myself to an extremely high standard. My peers and my teachers began emplacing more trust on me, which made me feel the need to almost… Live for them. Comments like “You’re Winnie, you’re going to do amazing anyway” or “I expect you to get a so-and-so grade” gave me immense pressure to never let them down, as if I was never allowed to drop from a 95% to a 90% in my exams. In hindsight, this mentality is destructive, and I urge anyone who is subconsciously living in the eyes of others to stop as eventually, you will burst from the overwhelming pressure. During my mocks, I was both hyperactive in my thoughts due to the constant feeling to recap knowledge AND mentally enervated as I wasn’t getting enough rest. For most nights, I would be sleeping for around five hours, as thoughts about the plans for the coming day would pre-occupy my mind and keep me awake. This disorientating mental state finally showed itself during the first week of my mock exams, where I had made two detrimental mistakes that catapulted me back to reality:
During my History Paper 1 exam, I had some way, somehow convinced myself that I had 10 more minutes than I do in my 90-minute paper, causing me to skip an entire main body paragraph and was capped at a particular mark for that essay question (Question C, which was worth 16/30 in the entire paper). I did not bother to check the time on the clock, the ending time on the board, and did not even challenge - for a moment - that I would be wrong in the timing. I will never forget this because this had never happened to me before and when the invigilator announced there was only a minute left to write, I fully scoffed. Until I realized. This was no coincidence. I was so absorbed in my own world and lacked self-awareness that I did not even check the most basic exam technique: timing.
After my unforgiving mistake in my History exam, I thought that that was the end of my “silly” mistakes. If only I could go back in time and shake myself awake. Not even three days later, I sat for my Biology Paper 1 exam. The whole examination was two hours long, and I had plenty of time to review my paper, and as per my usual exam ritual, I would flip through every page of the paper in the last few minutes of the exam. Only this time, I flip, and find that I had missed two entire pages of questions blank. Without further consideration, I scribbled as fast as I can to fill in the first page and left the second page entirely blank at the end, not even able to see the question at the end. My friend who sat next to me saw a blank page of work and stared at me. A stare of confusion, worry and sympathy that I will never forget.
Some of you may be reading this and thinking, Winnie, you are being too dramatic. It did not even stop you from achieving the grades you wanted. To this, I would agree. However, the point isn’t how many marks I had lost due to the mistakes (which I was, and still am, extremely devastated about), but more crucially I hope to draw attention to the deterioration of my mental state which had led me to slower awareness and recalling of exam techniques. I was so tired mentally and physically that after making those mistakes, I felt numb. I wasn’t crying or raging at myself for making those mistakes, until it began to sink in after I readjusted my mentality. Throughout this, I am so incredibly grateful for the support system that were my parents, who were trenchant in their criticisms of my wellbeing and quick in their decision to call out my unstable state. Without the sudden change in mentality, I don’t know what if I would still be able to achieve the grades I did. To those who are feeling the stress that naturally comes with exams, please know that it is normal and we should embrace it. However, what is abnormal is being entirely engulfed by this sense of stress, as if it is like a lingering monster that disrupts your rest and downtime. Speaking of downtime, find something you enjoy. Be it sports or gaming, allow yourself to have that little extra time to relax because it is a luxury that I voluntarily decided to abandon and now regret because I am just so much more enervated than some of my peers.
Not only so, I was also physically ruined. As someone who has eczema, my skin has always been susceptible to changing weather and particular types of foods. But never in a million years has anyone told me of the extreme effects of stress it has on one individual’s body. Ever since placing more pressure on myself, my skin would become itchy and ultimately become swollen and red as I scratch it. Especially during the period of mocks, my face was so red and swollen that I felt ashamed, so much so that I was wearing a mask to prevent others feeling sorry or worried about me. It felt terrible. My skin felt rough and hurt as it rubbed against my clothing and for the first time ever, I was quite literally uncomfortable in my own skin. Stress had caused me to build an unhealthy habit that I am still trying to amend today, which is the unconscious movement of me scratching myself. I scratch when I do work, when I think, or when I’m simply blanking out. Sometimes, my skin doesn’t even feel itchy, the motion just acts as a comforting mechanism for me and relieves a level of stress. Only downside however… I was hurting myself.
I share this with you even if having a skin condition isn’t relevant to you to ask that you listen to your own body. I didn’t listen and let my body suffer until the very last moment when exams ended. However, this isn’t healthy, and instead you should always seek for signs of discomfort, as this is the exact way your body is telling you to pause, and re-adjust.
To end
It has been a week since my exams and my body is still recovering from the impairment I had put it through. Even though I still struggle to forgive myself for the mistakes I had made, I am, in some way or another, grateful because this is what mocks is for! To make mistakes so you’ll remember it to never do it again for the real one. I know now, through the hard way, to never toy with my mental health, thinking that I can handle everything when my body and mind are telling me different things. Listen to your body. Work with it. Let’s all achieve success steadily and healthily.
Thanks for reading, and see you all in a bit.
-Winnie 25/01/2024
