Things I’ve Learned in 16 Years of Living

I’ve finally celebrated my sweet sixteen the past April and thinking back, I have changed significantly throughout the years. Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to write down a few things I have learned in the past sixteen years of living, and perhaps things that I wish I could tell myself growing up. I think it would be interesting to look back at this when I become an adult, when I finish high school, and when I do all the adult things.

It’s never too late

…To discover what you love, to take on a new hobby, to start working hard. I’ve realized that the majority of my hobbies and habits that occupy my life currently have been things that I adopted in the recent months, if not past one to two years. Despite having taken badminton classes since I was twelve or thirteen, I’ve essentially forgotten every technique due to court closures during COVID. However, I have rediscovered my love for it since summer 2023 and it has been my main source of sport-related stress relieving activity ever since. If you put your mind to it, and you genuinely like doing, improving (quickly) is only natural. Additionally, ever since being introduced to the sport of snowboarding two years ago, I’ve been obsessed with practicing it every winter holiday. So what my skier friends go on double black diamond slopes? I’ve also acquired a skill that they don’t have! Clearly, these passions could never have been pursued without the privileged position that I’m in, with parents that support me and coaches that genuinely wish the best for me. If you do have resources around you, never be fearful to try a few of the activities out.

To add onto the “start working hard” part, I would put a few caveats on this: firstly, “never too late” does not mean “never”, if you start panicking about your real GCSE exams a month before it starts, how is it different from not starting at all? Secondly, working hard truly means putting your mind to it rather than copying notes and extending the time you are reading a textbook. Again, inefficiency is not much better than not starting at all.

One thing I’ve learned is that your grades pre-high school/Year Nine does not define you. Rather, I would go as far as saying that the main goal for a middle-schooler is to have as much fun as possible in school because unfortunately, many of your conversations with your friends in high school will revolve around grades, applications, classwork etc. I remember so vividly when I was boarding from Year Seven to Eight that I barely put any effort into schoolwork and would only do the bare minimum to get by my mom’s intense scrutiny. With that being said, I also remember Year Seven and Eight as the happiest academic years. Those two years I would spend hours after school playing poker with my friends at the school café, and when sleeping at 10pm was considered late. I got by with extremely mediocre grades, but that mattered very little when I would cry laughing with my friends. It’s funny thinking back because of the conversations I had with my seniors when I was in Year Seven, when I would tell them how worried I was about choosing my subjects in Year Nine, that the subjects would determine the course of my entire life. Oh, how bored I was. Not only did those subjects not determine my life, I’ve only learned which subjects I did not want to study again.

I presume the point I want to make is for everyone to experience both types of joys: the simple joy of having nothing to worry about, transitioning into the satisfying joy of accomplishing your ambitions through your own hard work. At this moment, I’m grateful to have experienced both kinds of joys.

Develop habits, even if it’s hard

As I meet more people internationally, the more mixed comments I’ve gotten regarding the GCSE curriculum and examinations. Some say the courses are less rigorous than other exam boards, while others argue that it’s difficult for many to juggle between nine and twelve subjects at once. However, the most important thing I’ve developed are consistent studying habits. As I have mentioned previously, my grades were mediocre at the start of Year Nine; however, as the workload increased, the more I realized the importance of continuous efforts. Rather than procrastinating and start studying for a mid-topic test three hours before, try starting a week earlier; rather than tossing your newly written English notes aside the moment class is done, try making essay plans for potential exam questions. I find that consistent participation in class, clear-concise notes and repeated consolidation of concepts are methods far superior to pulling all-nighters right before an exam. Sure, I’ve seen the latter method work many times in my peers, but if I have to choose, I would absolutely choose to develop and refine my study habits (even when it’s more tedious). Who knows? These habits may just save my day when the workload gets even heavier in A-Levels and in college!

The same applies to one’s extracurriculars: Be it sports or arts, some days you just don’t want or feel like doing it. But I find that eight times out of ten, I always feel better after forcing myself to finish a task that seems so daunting at first. For example, it felt like such a hassle to get changed, warm up and go by car to badminton practice during my mock exam period, but almost every time I finished the session, my mind felt more centered and ready to tackle another study session. Sometimes, our hearts tell us one thing because it seems like the easy way out, but rewards may unexpectedly come when we dedicate our minds instead. Of course, motivating and pushing yourself towards the best should never come in the expense of your mental, physical and social health because exhausting yourself in any of these ways will only lead you towards a very dark path which reduces your chances of completing anything well (I can attest to this haha).

Reflect, reflect and reflect some more

No one is perfect, and no one ever will be. I’ve learned that it’s not healthy to chase after perfection or near-perfection every time because you’re only draining yourself. As I have shared previously, constantly chasing for more during my mock exam period only led to my physical and mental health getting worse, affecting my performance in the exam hall as I was deprived of energy. It was essential that I listened to the very clear signals from my body and reflected on my studying and resting patterns, adjusting accordingly to my needs. Reflecting on what’s working and what’s not, both academically and socially, goes a long way in the journey of self-growth.

Build a support circle that elevates you

Building on from the previous point, reflecting also comes in the form of taking in advice from people around you. Someone I’m eternally grateful for is my mom: She constantly checks up on me and is willing to listen to any worries I might have. I genuinely believe I have done a lot of growing up very quickly the past year (primarily due to the several phases I’ve gone through) and the one person that’s kept me grounded and constantly improving is my family.

Yes, on most days I would consider their suggestions to be nagging, but as I sit and write, I can’t help but feel thankful for the thousands of words they have ‘thrown’ at me. I know it’s sometimes difficult to accept their perspective when they nag because most of the time, their suggestion/concern is opposed to what you believe in, and it’s only human tendency to find every sort of way to fight back. However, it’s important to listen and adapt to a degree that you are comfortable with when an amalgamation of signals (e.g. your body reacts & the people around you express their concerns) appears before you. For example, it was so difficult for me to accept how unhealthy my lifestyle was despite my skin flaring up in red, swollen patches and I quote from one of my closest friends, that I was “as red as an apple” during mocks. I felt as though, I’ve only gotten so far in achieving good results by pushing myself to the limit, so why stop when it most mattered? Now, I realize that they did so because they love me, because they notice the oversized boulder on my shoulders that was going to crush me any minute.

Point is, surround yourself with people that care about you and will take immediate actions to better you. Friends are there to laugh with, not another reason for you to cry over. If you enjoy immersing yourself in a book at the library while they like to go to the beach and sunbathe, you should never feel the pressure to follow them because ultimately this way of living isn’t sustainable.

Listen to your body

I have to admit this is something I’m still actively trying to work on since I like to test my body’s limits and push myself. But through certain experiences like my mock exam experience, I’ve learned that doing anything (even if it was with good intentions) to the extreme, will only hurt yourself. I was not in a healthy physical and mental state then and chose to ignore all the signs my body was giving me: poor sleep, horrible skin flare-ups, an easily irritable mood and more. A character named ‘Anxiety’ in the recent cartoon, Inside Out Two (SPOILER ALERT!!), resonated with me as she would consider a million scenarios that could go wrong all the time and tries her best to make everything perfect. Though, this ‘perfectness’ didn’t exist and the more she tried, the greater pressure built up for the human she was controlling until one day, the mind was ready to break down. I recommend all teenagers and even adults to give the movie a watch. The movie is relatively short with a simple plot, but it’s thought-provoking because it prompts you to reflect on the role that Anxiety plays in all of our minds and whether we’re doing anything to control it.

Listening to your body comes in multifarious ways, so you must make an active effort to hear it speaking to you. This idea is quite daunting when you think about it: how can it be that sometimes my body—the supposed ‘thing’ that I control—says the opposite of what my mind is telling me? How does that work? But maybe we’ll leave the thoughts on dualism for another day.

Now, this just serves a reminder to act accordingly to how your body responds to things. For example, I’ve noticed that I felt a lot stronger during my gym session yesterday after eating a few slices of bread beforehand, indicating to me that my body likes it and tick, I know now that eating fast carbs before lifting is something I’ll try to do more in the future. Another example could be to take a break from my habit of fasted cardio first thing in morning because that day I just don’t feel good enough—we all have those days and that is okay.

Conclusion

This blog may seem quite uncalled for, since I’m only sixteen, but I do feel that personal development has peaked the past year and I want to share what I’ve learned. This year has definitely been the most stressful but the most rewarding. Is this what puberty entails? Lots of emotions all at once? Anyway, I hope these few points have helped anyone reading this and it’d be intriguiing to read back on these things once I graduate. Maybe Anxiety will continue living rent free in my mind?

Thanks for reading, and see you all in a bit.

-Winnie 04/08/2024